I've Learned Some Things

I have recently taken a look at some things I have learned since getting divorced and am really quite impressed with myself. I have had to learn since being on my own how to live on VERY little money, and how to make it seem to the boys like we aren't 1 step away from the poor house. When I met Scott I was 21, very naive and immature. I had never lived on my own and had never had to pay for the things a normal adult would have to pay for. I had no concept of rent, utilities, gas, groceries, and just the basic things to survive. So after getting married I had to learn from him because he had lived on his own to an extent and had experience. What I didn't learn is everyone's way of doing bills isn't the best way to do things or the smartest way to do things. Since being on my own, it's been a huge wake up call. I have been able to do it with help from family, and wisdom I have gained from others, and from my own thinking of how raising my boys would be best.It's also come with massive trial and error and a huge amount of faith. I came up with the plan of I won't get any credit of any kind. I have no extended limit on my bank, and no credit cards. We are going to make it without going into debt. For a long time we didn't have the luxuries that most possess. We don't have cable, we have free "bunny ears" tv, we didn't have internet,up until recently when on further digging and finding deals found an internet that is cheap and will give us what we need. We also until recently didn't have a working computer, a printer, and the only luxury item I would consider a necessity was cell phone. I lived on the principle of if it's not in the bank account or have cash in hand we don't get it. We have been able to move up from where we were because income has increased, and I have learned how to budget, but we are still not living lavish life. I also want to teach my kids what I wasn't sure of or what I was confused of when I was younger. I want them to know that we had enough money while they were growing up that they could have whatever they needed, they could have some of what they wanted but that they were taught the phrase "no, I'm sorry sweety we just can't get that." I want them to learn about earning money, and being responsible with the money they have. I want to teach them that the answer to I really want that new whatever isn't oh I'll put it on credit and pay for it in installments...YES! I want them to learn about saving the money they get to be able to buy that whatever, and the gratification you get when after saving all summer you can buy the expensive thing you wanted. They have learned that toys are fun but we don't need the ENTIRE collection of every Disney's Cars car they make, nor do we need 2 of every Cars car because they want their own copy. They have also learned that they don't need every Thomas the train character and the matching track that goes along with it. I have also found some buy and sell used clothing stores that have been absolute gold mines. We have gotten so many good deals! I have also learned that people will trade. I have been able to do a lot of things and provide different things for myself and for the boys by trading haircuts, or colors or watching their kids for a bit in exchange for babysitting so I can get out, or trade for things for the boys. It's been really cool. It's really been a you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours kind of thing. I couldn't imagine what would have happened had I not gone to school and gotten my license for hair so I could provide a service on the side. It has been one of THE best decisions I ever made in my life. I am so happy that I found something I was good at and not to toot my own horn, but REALLY good at. I believe I was blessed with this talent so I could do good and hopefully it has done as much good for the people I use it on as it has for me and my family. Lord knows I couldn't have gotten a degree at a University for anything. I just wasn't blessed with that form of smarts. So while you think to yourself, I have no idea what I would do if I was in your shoes, or how I could live with the circumstances you are asked to live in, I tell you I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have learned so much about myself, and wouldn't have known the strength and the potential I had if I hadn't been thrown into this situation. I never would have imagined if you would have told me 10 years ago what I would be asked to go through. I can honestly say it has been worth every minute. Sure it's been hard but it's been so worth it. The amount of growth the boys and I have been able to do because of this has been great. You really find out what you're capable of when you have no other choice than ok there's $100 in my bank and it's the first of the month, go......