Monday, September 23, 2013
Fall!
We are so excited for fall. Summer was SO busy that it's nice to take a break and enjoy not feeling like we are going to melt into a puddle on the sidewalk. I am really loving my job. It is perfect for me. Jack is so good and am really lucky to be able to take him with me. He loves talking to the kids. So gad my parents got me an ipad so he can be entertained for 2 hours a day. I figured out how to put movies on it and while he would rather play minecraft it's nice to have on there for the days he doesn't want to play games. I am so excited to take the boys to frightmares. They have been looking forward to it ever since we got our passes. We are going with our friend on Friday and the boys couldn't be happier. We are also planning a lot of fun things for fall. Stay tuned for other fall adventures.
Jackson started Joy School a couple weeks ago and we both LOVE it. For me it's the only 5 hour break from both boys I get a week, and for him it's interaction and learning with kids who are older than he is as he is the youngest in the group and it's his first year. He is doing a really good job keeping up with the older kids intalectually. He still goes back and forth between using his right and left hand, which is normal, and is trying to get the hang of holding a pencil and writing with it. He is loving the scooter his uncle Jared got him for his birthday. He loves riding it, and is getting quite fast at it. He doesn't understand why he can't race in the street with Patrick and his friends. He wants to be so big! I know it is so frustrating for him. I just can't let him do the things Patrick is doing just yet. Especially after a kid on our street was accidentally hit by a car and was in critical condition for a long time. And of course he loves riding his scooter, but will he touch the bike I gave him 6-8 months ago? Nope. He could care less about the bike. Hopefully he finds interest before he grows out of it. He is growing SO fast! He is going to be the same size as Patrick in oh 2 years, and this child will be over 6'0 before he gets to high school. He definitely takes after me. I wouldn't be surprised to see him hit 6'4-5.
Patrick is really loving 3rd grade. This year their focus is going to be science, which is his favorite subject, and he got a head start in learning when we were in Oregon. His penmanship is getting better, and hopefully he keeps up the good work so he doesn't get marked wrong when it's right. His writing last year was so bad you couldn't tell what letter was what and would get marked wrong on spelling tests. He has a good teacher this year, so far. It's only a couple weeks into the year so don't know a whole lot about her. This week Patrick is getting his Bear award in cub scouts. He's realy worked hard for it, and am so proud of him for gettting it. Just wish he had the supportive family close, and wish the family that does live close, cared about his accomplishments. But it's like I've told him, the only people that live close you can depend on are me and your brother. It's sad but it's the truth. He couldn't count on the other family for anything. He still has yet to be baptized, but we aren't terribly worried. We know it'll happen even if it's on his 18th birthday, it'll happen. He has been so good through this hard time. He is an amazingly strong child, and I am so proud and in awe of him.
If you aren't on my facebook or my instagram and would like pics of the boys or our fun times, ask for them. I won't be posting any on the blog. I am too lazy and if you really wanted to see what they looked like you would put forth effort.
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have you even called and told his grandparents that he is getting awards? How can they be supportive if they do not know what is happening? They can't. They do want to see the boys but whatever you and Scott have going on prevents them (as far as they were told) that they can not see the boys. my parents have not seen or talked to scott in 6 months. my mom says often, I wish we could be in Patrick and Jacksons life. I hope that one day we can.
ReplyDeleteI don't see how our family can support the boys when they have been told they are not allowed to see them and you don't call and say hey, Patrick is getting his bear award, maybe you would be able to come.
My parents want to see the boys so bad. They talk about it all the time. I don't know what is worked out with everything, I do know that My MOM would go if she knew. She knows nothing of what is going on. No one knows anything about what the boys are doing. I know they would like too. I am sorry things have gotten so bad. Don't blame my Parents for something they have no control over. Call them and them what is going on with the boys. They would love to know. We are a very supportive family. Some people just don't see it, and I am not just talking about you. I am sorry things are so bad.
ReplyDeleteI think that the 2 of you writing to me telling me how much they wanted to go is proof they don't really have a desire to see the boys. They talk a big talk but when it comes right down to it, that isn't the case.
DeletePatrick has called them on multiple occasions to talk to them and tell them things that are going on in his life and the calls go unanswered and unreturned. He is only going to try so much before he figures out the relationship is one sided and stops trying. The ONLY time they call to see them or stop by is on birthdays and major holidays. Other than that in the past 2 years NOBODY from your family has contacted them, or tried to see them. Relationships are TWO sided. Not ONE.
Did EITHER of you two EVER try to see them??? NO. And Jack doesn't even know who your side of the family is because they show no interest in seeing him unless its birthday or Christmas, and even then it's half assed. On Jackson's birthday your parents came over to see the boys but what happened? Your dad somewhat engaged with them and your mother sat on the couch and didn't say more than 2 words to them or try to play or engage AT all. When I told them that the boys and your family should get together before the summer ended your dad laughed at me and said yah ok. We'll see......
I have heard from members of YOUR parents ward they are telling people that I don't allow the family to see the boys, but how do you say those things when you haven't showed any effort in the matter?
Kim- you have said how much you miss the boys and to give them hugs and kisses from aunt Kim, but have you ever tried to contact them? Have you ever tried to have them a part of your girls lives??? No, so the fact you say all that crap is just that. Crap. You can talk the talk all you want but the kids notice the action, not good intentions.
I have heard from members of your so called "very supportive" family say they wish this or that but actions....zero.....Did you make any effort to see them when you were out here Rashelle??? No. So you two should get the facts straight before you go pointing all the blame towards me.
I am sorry your parents haven't seen their son in 6 months, but his own kids haven't seen him in just as long and it was a non approved visit with your family. He has showed no interest in even seeing his kids in a year now.
So if your family would like to know what's going on in their "grandsons" life they should probably show interest in them. 2 visits a year when they live 10 miles away doesn't really constitute effort or desire to see them.
There are 2 sides to every situation, and before lashing out judgements, or comments you should find out both sides. If you or your family would like to see the boys Make an effort!! I have always said if you call and try to see them, I will allow it. I will not waiver in my statement, but it requires effort.
I do, Kim blame your parents for their half assed attempt to see their grandkids. They have FULL 100% control in how often they see them.
To be perfectly clear because apparently your family is still using the Scott threatened me excuse, you are not restricted from seeing them, and you know legally he has no right to say those things. Your family has apparently talked to anyone who will listen about what Scott said regarding visitation and the answers are the same. He has no case. If you or your family want to see them it's up to you. Patrick is 8 years old and it's not his responsibility to make the relationship work. Your family is mostly adults and they have the responsibility not the child.
ReplyDeleteI did not realize it was festivus already. Since you have decided to start the airing of grievances, allow me to retort.
ReplyDeleteFirst, if you two fucktards think I am going to leave my sister to once again defend herself to your ignorant family you are sadly mistaken. I would try to act surprised at the level of retarded thinking that goes on in your family, but after my dealings with you I simply can't. I will address your grievances in order and number them so that it will be easy for you to keep track.
"Have you called and told his grandparents he is getting awards"?
1. From a legal standpoint, in the divorce decree part of the parenting plan that was signed by both parties included specifically making sure that their parents, the children's grandparents were included. It is not Andrea's responsibility to call her EX INLAWS and make sure that they know about the activities that are happening. That responsibility falls on Scott. He is legally required to do this as there are penalties attached to that. As I know not one member of your family has a pair of stones when it comes to Scott and all play cowtow to him, it comes as no surprise that you know nothing. She is required to inform Scott, which she has and does. You need to repair your relationship with your brother so that you will find out about these things.
2. From a parental standpoint it is Scott's responsibility to be involved in the lives of his children. From what I have seen the standpoint he is taking is that he does not give a shit so why should anyone else in his family.
3. You should actually be thanking Andrea for the way that she has been handling the situation. There are plenty of women out there that after their husband cheats on them, takes their children on his dates to the mall with other women. that leaves the family stranded, that is basically an absent father would want nothing to do with his family. In your case it is exactly the opposite. I challenge you to find one time when Andrea has denied you access to the children. In fact, she has gone out of her way to make sure that your family has access to the children. If Scott gave a shit about his kids and was seeing them during his time, that is when you would normally see them. Your access to the children or lack there of falls on your brother. Andrea realizes that there WERE friendships that the children enjoyed with your family. Friendships that when Scott chicken shitted out of being a father went away. I could not even credit your family with doing the bare minimum to maintain a relationship with them.
"They do want to see the boys but whatever you and Scott have going on prevents them"
ReplyDelete1. There is nothing she has going on preventing your family from seeing the boys. In fact as stated above it is in the divorce decree that they be allowed access. I am almost 100% positive that if the request were made, said decree could be made available at no charge for your viewing pleasure. Nothing is more irritating that ignorant people who refuse to become educated.
2. YOUR parents namely Dan has known for a long time that they could see the kids any time they wanted. I will ask for you to explain, or maybe grow a pair and ask Sally why she treated Patrick like he was an outcast when he visited her at her place of business. Also, why Dan has been the one texting saying that it is Sally that is desiring to keep the children from the rest of the family.
"I don't see how our family can support the boys when they have been told they are not allowed to see them"
1. Please tell me who said this and when. Stop holding Andrea accountable for Scott's actions. (I am assuming it was him that told you this.)
"I do know that My MOM would go if she knew"
1. I am calling bullshit on this. Sally has been the main point of resistance save Scott from the children seeing your family.
I hope that in time instead of blasting my sister on the internet and airing your laundry that you will call and talk to her or try to make arrangements to see the children. I know the children would enjoy seeing your family again. I am sure that Jackson would welcome getting to know you. He had no clue who your parents were the last time they came by. It is hard for them to know him and him to know them if they are as absent as their son. Also RETURNING PHONE CALLS FROM PATRICK WOULD HELP. Ignoring his phone calls does not do anything to build a relationship.
I live more than 10 hours away from Andrea and the boys. Yet, I've seen them more than 20 days in the past year.
ReplyDeleteWhy haven't the Penman family, which lives less than 10 miles away, seen them more??
I can't believe the lack of interest that is shown by the Grandparents and Aunts / Uncles on the Penman side of the family.
I personally feel that they don't give a damn about the kids or have any interest in the daily activities.
Their absence is very obvious. I have a closer relationship with the boys and live more than 700 miles away from them.
How can any of the Penman family claim they don't know what's going on??? It's their own lack of interest and involvement.
EITHER START MAKING CONTACT OR QUIT BITCHING ON THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!
IMHO, the Penman family is totally dysfunctional. The kids are better off without you until you seek professional help
To Scotts family-
ReplyDeleteYou do not know who I am, but you have no clue what you are talking about. My husband knew Scott, worked hand in hand with him in scouting, and thought very highly of him, until the crap he started and him abandoning his beautiful, smart boys. He is disgusted with him and the choices he's made regarding his family.
I come from a divorced family and somewhat know what these kids are going through. I know what abandonment feels like by a father figure and this is what he has done to his sons. But my Grandparents fought tooth and nail for us kids to be with them. I know that your family has not. I have also seen your mother walk away and turn her back to the kids, because she saw their mother. So maybe you should talk to her and ask her to honestly tell you the truth. You have abandoned these kids also, by not calling or involving them in your family.
Do you know what abandonment feels like? I bet not! Let me tell you what it feels like by number:
1. When your family says they care, it has no meaning.
2. You feel like it was your fault that they left.
3. You never feel like you are good enough, because you need the recognition from that family.
4. You have to relive everything in therapy to deal with the abandonment issues.
5. As an adult you question if people are going to leave like your family did.
I have witnessed him pick up the kids and they did not want to go. Andrea would tell them that the needed to go, because your father loves and misses you. Their father acted weird and he was always argumentative and never took responsibility for his actions and neither have you. You have had many opportunities to call or go over and see those kids and you did not.
My advice to you is grow a pair and stick up for those boys. I bet those boys would love to have your love. Dropping off gifts and spending 5 to 10 minutes is not love. You can not buy their love.
It makes me ticked off that you wrongly accuse the boys mother for your families mistakes. Make sure your hands are clean before pointing any fingers.